The birth of "Consumed by Chaos" by Jen Duran
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I’m often asked what inspired me to paint Consumed by Chaos. Why are there no eyes? What’s the meaning behind it? As an artist, I’m a bit awkward with these questions and usually give a brief, simple answer. But over time, I’ve realized that sharing the deeper story behind the piece is important, especially when it resonates with others. So here it is—the inspiration behind Consumed by Chaos.
2017.
That’s when Consumed by Chaos was born. It was one of the hardest and most challenging times of my life. After spending twelve years on a specific path, everything I had worked for came crashing down in an instant. I was overwhelmed with anger, frustration, and sadness—feelings that consumed my mind and made it hard to breathe.
In that state, I began painting, without any clear intention or direction. I started a portrait in Payne’s Grey, one of my favorite colors. But the piece wasn’t turning out the way I wanted. I couldn’t seem to get it right, and my frustration only grew. Eventually, I stopped trying to force it and simply let go. I stopped thinking about what it “should” be and allowed it to become whatever it was meant to be.
At that point, my previous works often centered around eyes, but Consumed by Chaos marked a turning point for me—a new awakening. I had spent so much of my life trying to be what others wanted me to be, painting what I thought I needed to paint. This piece became a release, an escape from my own overwhelming thoughts. The absence of eyes in the painting was symbolic. It represented a moment of release, of letting go completely, with no associations—just pure expression.
Fast forward seven years, and Consumed by Chaos has become my most treasured creation. I’m still amazed by how many people have been inspired by it and how many continue to collect it.
♡ Jen